Live Life on Your Terms

Relationships. Kids. Housing. Food. Wellness. Job security. Love. Time.   We all crave the things found in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs — from food and clothing to belonging, friendship and, eventually, self-actualization.   How do we get it though, when we’re feeling run down, overworked, overwhelmed and out of time?   It starts with you – identifying those … Continued

Live Life on Your Terms

Relationships. Kids. Housing. Food. Wellness. Job security. Love. Time.  

We all crave the things found in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs — from food and clothing to belonging, friendship and, eventually, self-actualization.  

How do we get it though, when we’re feeling run down, overworked, overwhelmed and out of time?  

It starts with you – identifying those needs, wants, desires in your life and going after them; not being bogged down by unrealistic expectations of others.  

According to a Business Insider article, 10 Ways to Stop Giving People Power Over You, a psychotherapist explains that it’s important to “ask for what you need in a relationship.”  

“Whether you have a coworker who wastes your time venting about how much she dislikes her job or a friend who always asks to borrow money, some people will take your time, money and space if you allow them to do so. It’s important to set healthy boundaries for yourself,” according to the article. “Say no, speak up and ask for what you need. When people violate your boundaries, follow through with clear consequences.”  

When going through life, it’s also important to take positive steps and not play the blame game.  

“Don’t blame anyone else for making you feel guilty or making you feel bad about yourself. Take full responsibility for how you feel,” according to the article. “If someone is affecting your emotions in an unhelpful manner, take positive action. Either change the situation or change how you respond to the situation. Perhaps you decide to walk away and enter a new environment. Or, maybe you decide to take a few deep breaths, practice using some positive self-talk and continue to engage in a difficult conversation.”  

Another important reminder is that people are not responsible for how others feel – nor is it their job to manage that emotion.  

“Don’t take on responsibility for other people’s emotions. You can’t make everyone happy, and you can’t make anyone mad,” the article said. “While it’s important to be cognizant of how your actions affect others, it’s not up to you to manage how other people feel.”  

Don’t let others dictate how you feel about yourself.  

According to revolutionher.com, steering oneself in their lane begins with learning how to stop living an overextended life but instead living one of abundance.  

Being overextended means biting off more than you can chew and rushing from one task to the next. For the ladies reading, this is a far too common phenomenon due to varying reasons.  

“People overextend themselves for various reasons; perhaps you just get caught up in the moment and agree to something before you check your schedule, or maybe you find it difficult to say no to people,” according to the article. “Whatever your motivation, it can leave you feeling frustrated and frazzled, and it could potentially damage your reputation if you’re not able to honor all of the commitments that you’ve made.”  

For some looking to take back the control they need to:  

  • Know that it is a problem and overcommitting is not where it’s at  

“While it’s normal to be busy if your hectic pace causes you to be stressed out most of the time, then it is something that you need to address,” according to the article. “Being constantly on the run is bad for your health, puts a strain on your relationships with your friends and family, and can cause you to lose focus of your goals. Being busy is productive; frantically scrambling around is not. If you think that you may currently be overextended, then it is time to step back and re-evaluate.”  

  • Listen to the signs in your body.  

From having trouble sleeping to being tired all the time to having headaches and even digestive problems – being overextended shows up in more ways than one.  

“If your body is displaying symptoms of stress, then it means that your activities are physically straining you,” according to the article. “Don’t take these symptoms lightly; while you may only be able to detect a headache and a rash, that same stress could be causing much more serious damage to your body.”  

  • Pause before saying “yes” again  

“When somebody asks you to do something, your first inclination is probably to say yes. Most of us are people-pleasers, and while it may have seemed like a good idea at first, if you really stopped to think about it, you would realize that you just don’t have the time,” according to the article. “For this reason, it is best to hold off before you make any commitments. Allow yourself time to sleep on it and determine if you actually can make it work with your schedule. If a task doesn’t fit in with your priorities, or you are simply just too busy right now, be ready to say no.”