Ask Ashlee: Leaving negative friendships behind is causing more drama

Dear Ask Ashlee,

I let go of several friendships back in 2021 and I do not regret walking away from them. They consisted of negative energy, gossiping, constant drinking, partying and the turn up life. I don’t really think there is anything wrong with that life and I am not judging anyone who chooses to party every day and live that lifestyle. I just know I didn’t want it for myself anymore, especially the constant negative energy. I didn’t make any kind of announcements to anyone about walking away, because I feel like I didn’t really need to. I just say no when they call, or I don’t answer at all. Could I have said something? Yes, but remember I said, they at times give off very negative energy and I didn’t feel like going through all of that. Here’s where I am frustrated, I feel like even though I took the high road and just walked away, they continuously make little jabs and passive aggressive posts about me. I have been told that they are throwing dirt on my name (which is typical for them) and now all of a sudden, they are liking literally every post my boyfriend makes! They haven’t paid that man this much attention on social media ever and now he can post a (.) and they would heart it in 2.5 seconds! It’s annoying and I just don’t know how to handle it. My man tells me to just ignore them and that this is petty girl drama, but it doesn’t feel that way to me at all! Am I wrong?

Ms. Trying to Move Different

Dear Ms. Trying to Move Different,

So, here’s the thing, if you have removed yourself from a situation, or certain people for your own self improvements, then you need to stay focused on that task. Your #1 priority should be how you conduct yourself moving forward, and how you consciously and subconsciously make decisions. You walked away from this group of friends because of their negativity and gossip-like ways, did you not think that once they felt like you turned your back on them, that they would not be exactly who you know them to be? Every action has a consequence and walking away from these women with no explanation as to why most likely hurt them and now they are acting out. You have two choices; you can contact them and let them know what’s going on and why you have distanced yourself so you can walk away amicably, or you can choose to ignore it and let it go because your decision to leave them behind has already been made. What I implore you not to do is to allow their actions to have a hold on the woman you are intentionally working to become. You cannot control other people, you can only control your actions and what you will or will not give your energy, time, and attention to.

I hope this helps!

Love & Light,

Ash

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