20 Questions: How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

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via psychologytoday.com

20 Questions: How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

4-5 minutes

Think you know what your partner is all about? Take this quiz and find out.

Posted Sep 20, 2018

Think you know what your partner is all about? Believe you are in touch with his or her inner world? Take this 20-item quiz and find out. Each question requires a Yes or No. Go!

  1. Can you name two or more of your partner’s grandparents?
  2. Do you know the stresses your partner’s facing now?
  3. Do you know what your partner’s favorite movie or musical recording is?
  4. Do you know your partner’s favorite dessert?
  5. Do you know three places your partner would love to visit?
  6. Can you list the relatives your partner cannot stand?
  7. Can you name all your partner's best friends?
  8. Do you know precisely how and where your partner likes to be touched?
  9. Do you know what your partner likes best about her/his work/job?
  10. Do you know your partner’s least favorite task around the house?
  11. Do you know what food your partner does not like or cannot eat?
  12. Do you know how many times (in a perfect world) s/he would like to have sex per week?
  13. Do you know the people (or politicians) who have been irritating your partner recently?
  14. Can you describe your partner's philosophy of life (how s/he makes sense of this world)?
  15. Do you know what your partner wanted to grow up to be when s/he was a child?
  16. Do you know what your partner is most proud of?
  17. Do you know what your partner is most insecure about?
  18. Do you know what scent or smell your partner likes most?
  19. Do you know which superpower your partner wish that s/he had?
  20. Can you talk in detail about your partner's dreams or life goals?

Before you jump to the scores, understand that the only real way to test your knowledge of your partner is to prove you know by checking it out with him or her. So have a conversation and see if you really know.

Your score (number of "yes" answers)

  • 16 or more: You know your partner extremely well. It’s like telepathy.
  • 11 to 15: You know your partner moderately well. Not bad if you’ve been together for only a few months or just a year or so.
  • 6 to 10: There’s plenty of room for improvement. Your partner may not be an open book: Get past the cover and start reading.
  • 5 or fewer: Think of your partner as your research project. Get to know him or her. If the project bores you, you may have chosen the wrong topic.

John Gottman has researched what factors predict relationship success and failure for decades. What predicts successful couples down the road? The quality of their friendship. This quiz shines a light on some elements of what Gottman refers to as your "love map." In a survey of 200 couples attending a weekend workshop, he found that the best predictor of passion and romance was not hot sex or constant public displays of affection, but the quality of the partners’ friendship. As a clinician, my recommendation is that you get friendly and familiar with your partner.

References

Gottman, J. (2017). The relationship cure: A 5 step guide to strengthening your marriage, family, and friendships. New York: Harmony.

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